Thoughts from a Musician's Heart

      AUDITIONS?! by Stacey Eliason

I have learned to trust God with many parts of musician life: Finances, relationships and plans,  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”-Proverbs 3:5, is a verse I read often.

However, I did not trust him with auditions. Why was this?  From the major orchestra auditions I traveled to, to the quarterly ensemble try-out, these days would leave me hopeless, distraught, and barely able to function.

During graduate school, I went to audition for the Colorado Symphony. I already had a symphony job with the Yakima Symphony,  but was still looking. As audition trips go, I was cutting it close to get back in time for rehearsal of Beethoven’s Symphony no. 3. I had no idea how I would  make the 2 hour drive back from Seattle.

The start of my trip was set. Round-trip airfare and airport shuttle was booked. I decided to treat myself this time. A hotel near Boettcher Concert Hall near the Performing Arts Complex was decently priced mid-week. As for getting home, I had the plane ticket, but that was it.

It was an easy walk to the stage door, and I checked in with security. As usual, other horn players my age, many whom I knew from festivals and other auditions, were there. This was the tough part for me, but today I was glad to see them. I played the preliminary round and waited in the green room.. They called the numbers of the players who would go on to the next round, and I was not one of them. The usual packing up of those of us leaving followed.

I usually just marched out after being cut, but some players (also cut) invited me for coffee and I forced myself to go along. I had a great time. Some of these players I am still friends with today.

I have no memory of the flight home. Upon getting off the plane in Seattle, I went to ground transportation. A series of buses could get me to rehearsal on time, but when I got there my bus was pulling away. I stood there. “God. What am I going to do?” I hear him answer, “Sometimes you just have to trust me.”

I was standing there like a statue for more than a minute. I hear two voices behind me. “Hey. Yakima person!” and “Horn player gal!”

Two string players  from the Yakima Symphony were walking toward me.. We don’t even know each other’s names. Just getting back from New York, they were heading to rehearsal, too. We hit the road. They wanted to hear all about my audition, telling me this is a chapter we all go through. 

It was sweet fellowship, and another verse echoed through my head. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”   Philippians 4:6

Stacey Eliason, Horn Player, Choppers Brass Quintet, Seattle, WA